well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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