It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
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You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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