Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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