What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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