this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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