in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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