she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
