You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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