The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
