I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
