Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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