Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
