So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
