Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
