Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
