Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
