Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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