this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize