Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize