i think i have herpe
just one?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
