I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want her autograph on my taint
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
