Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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