But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
