She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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