loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
