I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
