I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
