He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
