i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
