woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
foreskin is a definite game changer
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
