What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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