she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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