either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Rumble strips road head = magical
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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