A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
