you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
