Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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