he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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