i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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