she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize