Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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