I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize