so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
