Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
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So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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