i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
