Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
