It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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