Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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