I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
