Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
