my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
