We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
