It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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