If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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