remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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