yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
