For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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