I'm drive I can fine osifer
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
